Value of High School Friends

Another close friend is getting married. Actually she’s closer than just a ‘close friend’, a ‘best friend’ almost.

I’ve known Ara since high school. We share the same name, so as to avoid confusion, people called her Ara (I got the nickname A.Z. in college when there was another girl who shared my first name. Since she only has one name and I prefer not to let others calling me Haida, I resorted to A.Z., which by the by suits me well, I think). Ara and I grew even closer when we were in upper forms as we were in the same class, in the same sports house and were both committee members of the school’s cooperative board. And yes, despite her being elected as a prefect during the final year at school, we had some history of breaking some (minor) school rules…

The friendship lasts even after we left school. Ara studied in KL while I was in Leeds, but always, there was this special bond we shared that's unique to us. As fate had it, we dated different guys with similar names at the same time, and our ups and downs in relationships were, well, almost always happened at the same time, although of different magnitudes. In fact, we almost chose the same date for our wedding! (Which I’m glad did not turn out to be so; otherwise we wouldn’t be able to attend each other’s wedding)

Ara and Ira, another close friend, were the one who attended to me on my akad nikah night, assisting my auntie Nyah in preparing me for the big occasion. I was a bit kelam kabut that night, but Ara quietly ordered me to sit back, relax and let they do things for me. “It’s your day to be a princess, so don’t worry about a thing – we’ll do it for you,” she insisted. Needless to say, both Ara and Ira did a great job of calming my nerves that fateful night.

Now, it’s her turn to be treated like a princess. Ira told me that she’ll be attending to Ara in the morning, putting on the tudung and all. I told Ira that I would like to go with her. My turn to help her out…

Often, things just change after one gets married, whether one likes it or not. There’ll be less time for the girlfriends, best friends or otherwise. Still I know, we will always be there for each other – although the time spend with each other might lessen. But we’ll be there for each other – to shop, share, heal, joke, pray, cry, laugh or just be.

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I’ve met and made lots of close friends since high school – in college, in University, at my old job, during my DPA days, even bonded well with a few women I met at meetings overseas – and I treasure them all. Some meet my spiritual need, some share my love for books, some my love for Japanese dramas, some were with me in seasons of turmoil and confusion, some were my clarifier and some doubled my joy and happiness.

Still, however close the rest are to me – my close friends from high school, Ira and Ara included - I consider them closest to being my best friends. People with whom I can let my guard down due to the depth of intimacy and trust that exist between us and with whom I don’t have to worry about my appearance because they had all seen me once in overlarge tudung labuh, extra-large brightly coloured plastic pair of glasses and a broken half front tooth. They are friends who love me for who I am yet would unabashedly offer a fresh perspective whether or not I need them; who know most, if not all, of my history and emotional baggage and yet able to listen without judging and offering comfort without being suffocating.

I thank Allah for high school friends who keep cheering each other up, cheering each other on and lifting each other’s spirits long after high school days ended. And I hope we’ll continue to share our secrets, hopes, doubts and dreams for many more years to come…